And I Thought It Was Over

A lot of time has passed since that day last year, and I always managed to smile during those particular moments, little that I know though, the pain is all but gone.

He spent with me more than half of my whole life, and he’s gone just because some random idiots thought it would be cool to feed him, thus food poisoning him.

I think I never really talked about him, but I guess it could be about time now. To scream to the world all the little things that populated my mind while tears scarred my face. And it’s not usual now, hey!

He was born a bit of a bastard, both phisically and metaphorically, and he was fucking crazy, just like me. He would do all the most weird stuff on this planet with all the rage he was able to put into it and just look innocently at you afterwards, as if what he did was the most natural thing a dog could do.

There are several random funny facts, and I almost don’t know which one to begin with, let’s see…

My mother once wanted to give him some biscuits, cause he loved them. She then got outside, called him, and offered him the biscuits. He looked at them, he stopped for a second, then he went away. My mother started asking if he was feeling ok, or he just didn’t want them. Less then a minute later he popped up in front of her, dropped our remote control at her feet and pretended the biscuits. “You give me biscuits? Hey!! Look what I can give you!! Deal?”. The little bastard slipped inside our house when nobody was around, took our remote (it was old, somewhat large, made of hard plastic… the perfect toy) and started playing with it. I still have it laying around somewhere with his teeth brushes carved in it.

Or there was that time on the beach. He used to be a “runner”: if you lost him, you would have to run after him for miles, no shit. The problem with where we were living, is that there were (and still are) a whole lot of trucks moving in and out, who could lay him flat on the ground forever. But anyway, I’m digressing. My parents bring him to the vet, I was in university back then, so I couldn’t be around. Since it was always around January/February, we used to bring him to the beach and let him play and run for a while. My mother was not quite able to run with the dog, so my father thought of letting him run, and so he did. While running though, the dog moved from the shore to the dry sand part, making running harder. My father had some troubles, started “dancing” and then fell face first (or hands, but I will always loved to believe he fell with his face in the sand). He thought “ok, he’s gone…” but our dog was a bastard, sure, but no betrayer. Even though he got free, he realized my father wasn’t with him. Stopped, turned his head, ran to him and… started licking his face… “are you alright?”.

And he could understand you. Several people told us he was no animal, he was a human… One time, when I was a kid, while playing with my cousins I fell down. Nothing bad, but my cousins were on the other hand of our yard and couldn’t see me, and I was alone with my dog, so I thought about “testing” him. I feigned to be hurt badly, he wouldn’t know anyway, I’m a great actor. I asked him (once!) to go and call my mother. The last thing I remember is him running away at lightening speed, and coming back with the whole house 10 seconds later. The people who was inside the house told me he started to scratch on the door (a glass door, he wasn’t ruining it) frantically, until somebody opened him, and then pretended them to follow him… It was amazing…

And he could not just understand you, he could feel you. I swear I did see the pain in his eyes when I stepped in front of him filled with my thoughts… When I was sad, he would feel it and look after you. A level of empathy I rarely saw in any human being (other than myself, of course). He would look into straight into my eyes, trying to figure out what was hurting me. I swear on god I saw him trying… And when I used to realize it, I would cheer up a bit, and he, once again, looked at me almost smiling. I know most of you think I’m crazy by now, but again I cannot stop but to believe what my eyes have seen over the years: a lot of years. And when the world was dancing, needless to say, he would dance along with it.

These were just a few excerpts, 14 years are far more than any post could ever describe, but I wanted to share my vision of him… he was a good dog, more like a human than a dog still. My companion for ages. Say a prayer for him tonight if you would.

Totally miss the honesty, and special times, and honestly totally miss the fucked up things you do.

Dude, I totally miss you.

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