Late Update

Hell yeah, man… it’s been a while…

I just popped in to tell you that I’ve been busy. Pretty much busy. With my job, with my personal life, with my friendships, my passions, my dreams…

And I’m way stressed. Both physically & mentally.

But I’m happy. More than I thought I could ever be. Of course, not 24/7, but I’m… relieved, let’s say that.

I feel like I’m way more relaxed inside. And I notice that in moments like this, where I’m basically angry, or maybe just lunatic due to latest stress, but it doesn’t totally put me on the ground. And it’s a great thing.

I found someone who’s able to lift me up. And apparently, she found someone who’s able to do the same with her. Or maybe it’s just what I wish.

Life’s uncertain. You can never tell. But, for once, I’ve got something to fight for with all my strength. Something that takes me out of the bed every single day, without questioning why. Someone in whose eyes I can feel love.

Someone by my side.

I Just Don’t Give a Fuck

I’m fed up.

Do you think I’m a jerk? Do you think I’m a son of a bitch? Do you think that “2/3 of what I say are just mean things and the last 1/3 is used to link them up”? Do you think I’m too (falsely) moralist? Do you think I’m honorless? Do you think I’m a chronicle bastard?

You know what… I am going to from now on.

I’ll crack your ass up each and every single time you cross my path. I will take care to perfectly send your way all the shit I can, without failing. You don’t even know how many times I saved you, huge sons of bitches. You have no idea about how many fucking times I simply “walked on” without caring too much about what you said, and to make others walk on aswell, when they got pissed off at what you called me.

Do you think you know how much I can be a jerk/bastard? Do you think you have seen all of my rage? Do you think you saw me real mad? Do you think you know me? Think again, my dears.

I’m fed up. Definitely. And I’m coming to catch you all, one by one. Get ready.

Lithium

I spent more than 20 minutes walking in circles. Nah, not even in circle… do you have any recollection of that kind of unbalanced 8 circuit for toy cars… the one which looks like an ellipsis with a circle on one corner of it… well, I followed that kind of path. For more than 20 minutes.

I found myself talking with myself today.

I found myself thinking in English today. I know what you’re thinking: “so what?”. Well, that’s not normal YOU MORONS, I’m italian…

I found myself walking like an obsessed for more than 20 minutes without being able to stop myself today.

I was happy today.

I was even listening to a Topo Gigio’s record today. And we’re talkin about this puppet here…

What the hell went wrong?!?

There’s something torturing me, which keeps awakening in bed for hours. It’s been days since I’m counting, and I averagely spend 2 hours starting at some point out of nowhere after being fully awake. I realize it, I even turn my halogen 100watt lamp on… still that’s useless.

Generally this would be the time when I reveal the world what’s the problem this time around, and still generally I would be so hermetical that just me and God would be able to understand the meaning. And since God does not exist, I would be the only one.

This time though, I have no flipping clue what it could ever be. And I’m not lying, not even to myself.

At the same time, I feel with every cell in my body I’m about to freak out. But this time around I really have the feeling it’s gonna be worse. Much worse. Maybe exactly cause I don’t know what that is due to, so I can’t work on it early on.

One of the things I thought, and which I write as I thought it, was: “if you rely on me, in any manner, be very careful, cause you might be dropped and left behind any time soon”. Some, more than others, should worry. And a lot, too.

250 points, and partial estimation by me, to the one who understands the post title without using google or any other search engine.